I feel like a kid

Tonight has been rough. Can't sleep. As usual. Most nights it's just insomnia and a lack of a sleep schedule, but I've been having a serious several hour long panic attack. I usually post every couple weeks or monthly. This is my 3rd post of the night. Holy shit.

Anyway, I'm 22. I'm too old for the usual transition into adulthood and the usual college life. By now, someone should have a degree, license, network, etc. I'm starting from scratch, and I mean, COMPLETELY from scratch. I've covered it a billion times at this point considering all my posts are related to finding advice or even just an outlet to keep me out of a noose for one more day, so to keep it short, I've been isolated since middle school, and a plethora of setbacks have kept me from establishing literally anything.

So, yeah. I feel a damn child in his gap year, but I'm fucking old.

AND YES, FOR THE BILLIONTH TIME I KNOW I'M NOT OLD, BUT I'M OLD FOR WHERE I'M AT.

I don't even know why I'm posting this. Maybe it's just me doing mental gymnastics or finding an outlet to keep myself out of the noose for... what, day 3559 or so? Not that I've been counting, just a rough estimate. But yeah. Not sure what I'm sticking around for.