2 hours ago
5
My(25f) best friend-27M (who i’m also in love with) has an opportunity to move across the world for work.
We’ve worked at the same place for a few years and were instant friends. We dated briefly but both called it quits early on because we didn’t think we we’re compatible.
Since ending things we’ve become extremely close as friends. We see each other every day, have lunches alone together, walk home every day, talk for hours on end, and see each other regularly outside of work.
Although I wouldn’t say we’re perfect together and we do have our problems, we’ve worked so hard on our communication and relationship that i’ve always felt it could work out for us in the long term. I did tell him that i “might like” him a couple weeks ago before this opportunity and he said he thinks we’re better as friends and he’s happy with that.
I honestly didn’t care too much and just moved on since nothing changed between us.
Now, knowing that he has a really good chance of getting this opportunity, i’m literally distraught. If this works out for him he’d be gone in 6-8 weeks.
I’m really struggling with being happy for him as a friend and being heartbroken at the same time. He’s so excited and it would be unfair for me to dampen that feeling but at the same time i’m struggling to push back tears and smile when he mentions it.
My life is going to dramatically change without him since so much of my life has involved him for years. He completely deserves this opportunity and i do hope he gets it but some part of me somehow hopes he doesn’t accept it/get it at the same time. He also doesn’t really know how in love with him I am so it’s hard to explain to him why i’m not jumping for joy.
I hate this feeling, I want to be a good friend but selfishly i’m literally in shambles about this all. I feel like a horrible person. I don’t know what to do.
PS. I do have other friends and many hobbies but no one clicks with me like he does or knows me as well as he does. I genuinely feel like i’m losing my other half.
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