I don’t identify as transgender but I still would prefer to be a girl

I’m 19 and male. I know I probably think about being a girl more than is normal. At the same time I don’t feel negative about being male, it doesn’t cause me discomfort nor do I feel “trapped in my body”. I’m a pretty normal person all things considered. I’m not exactly the most masculine guy out there but I carry myself well and I don’t have huge problems romantically. I just think if I could magically become a woman I would.

I just have always thought women were aesthetically better than men and that I would be happier if I was a woman. The way I feel about it is complex but for one I’ve always loved women’s fashion. I always was jealous of the things women could wear, all the hairstyles, etc. Even beyond that I think I’d just be more comfortable if I was a woman. I said I don’t mind my body but I also think I’d be more comfortable if I had a woman’s body.

Of course, I live in a religious family and have religious friends. My parents would have a heart attack if I even tried to crossdress. Part of me understands it’s pointless to think about, since i won’t magically one day wake up the opposite gender even if I wanted to. Plus, if I was born a woman then it wouldn’t be anything special since that would simply be the normal way of life for me. I guess I’m just a little sad about it.