I am tired of being poor

TLDR: my family is poor and i am tired of it. I wanna live like every other teenager i see. I hate that i have to be the one to work hard and get my family out of this situation.

When tf will we stop being poor I am tired. No, we are not POOR poor i.e. we eat decently but we havent been able to pay the rent in YEARS and now the homeowner has cut off our water supply and threatening to throw us out. I havent showered or pooped properly in days. I was just told to go and "request" the owner's wife to let us have water for at least an hour bcuz apparently i am a "kid" so that might "soften her heart". Ugh.

We are literally a family of 8 and ending up on the streets? With this big of a family? I cannot even imagine.

We are what you can call "lower middle class". We used be "upper middle class" when i was a kid. I had all the luxuries i still remember. I am 18 now, a college student going to a shitty college that has 3 people in my course bcuz we couldnt afford the good college that i got into earlier. No, the fee wasnt ridiculously high. We are just ridiculously poor. A friend scored a lot worse than i did in hight school but look at her go to a big ass college now and look at me.

I havent gone clothes shopping in years. My well off cousin visits from time to time and drops off her hand me down clothes that "nobody else wants cuz the design is ugly" so its only logical for me to have it right? I avoid going out or meeting people cuz i dont have nice clothes. I am waiting for the christmas sale so hopefully i will buy some cheap new warm clothes this year. Idk if thats possible tho looking at our finances

Since 9th grade almost all of my education had been paid for my taking loans from friends and family. I am convinced they look at me as a charity case. I so badly wanna pay them back and never look at them again.

I just wanna live a normal life. The kind of normal my friends live you know? A hangout session once in a while, new clothes once in a few months, maybe go to the movies once a while, a better college. Is that too much?

I KNOW. Yes, i know. I know i sound like a pathetic brat ranting about how my family cant give me money to spend when i am 18 and should be earning for myself. I know. But i just wanna be like eveyone else man. I just wanna be slightly better off than this without having to work hard and pull my family out of this shithole.