I(21M) made my worst mistake about choosing a terrible option bcuz i couldn't face my mother(56F)

I'm a male (21) , for so long I've been the good boy that listens to his parents and do everything they say but once i grew up i changed and a lot of my ideas don't match with my mom but my dad is more chill and ok with my ideas , and to mention I don't face other people avoiding for judgement and a lot of times im way to shy and i hate, when the time for me come to choose a university, there was options and there was an option that my mom perferd which was the worst one and unfortunately i couldn't go against her even though i knew my grades would take me to a better option i don't know why i didn't face her , but fast forward to now i knew it was the worst decision in my life and it made me live 3 years of regret, the uni got suspended bcuz of the war and i had to live throw a horrible war and now I'm in another country as a refugee and my uni resumed a couple months ago but i didn't continue with them and i have no intention and till now i didn't tell my mother, i don't know how to tell her all of my chest without making her mad and how i wanna live my life without regret, anyone got any tips for being more open and not shy