How are you meant to enjoy life if it screwed you in every way?

I honestly do not enjoy anything anymore... I never did just come to think of it. I suck at everything & can't improve, I really despise talented people because of it, they actually disgust me. Unless I'm the absolute best or a professional at least I have no care for an activity. Anything to do with socializing is not an option for a hobby as I have no friends & nobody likes me, I have seen people literally run from me I'm way too awkward, lifeless & I'm beyond hideous, I can never have a conversation with anyone, I understand them easily but I struggle to explain things because I always seem to have a shortage of words like my brain just won't think of them. I can see through peoples bs easily but that same problem occurs & I can't do anything. noticed that people avoid me because I'm ugly too. i look like Darth sideous combined with Sid the sloth. My face just always seems to look angry & that's probably because it's the only emotion I can feel other than that I feel painfully bored for every second of the day but the thought of doing anything kills my motivation, even simple things like going to bed & waking up kills my flow. I don't know if I want my life to get better or if I just want it to end. Why did I even write this? Wasted 15 mins writing this knowing damn well I'm not going to do anything