How?

I guess I don’t really have a good way to phrase this. However, I’m looking for advice on how to proceed in my life.

A year ago in October, my partner decided to kill himself. Luckily for me, I was the one who found him, and since this incident I have been struggling to find any real purpose in my life. From an outside perspective, it probably looks like I have gotten over the loss and have my shit together. I’m certainly functional. I have my own place and a good job.

That said, my days are fucking empty. I don’t actually have any purpose to live anymore. The only reason I haven’t tapped out is because of those immediately around me. However, I feel myself inching ever closely to the end. I truly have lost any drive to persist. So here I am I guess? Is this the precipice? You tell me.