3 weeks ago
18
So I’ve been with her for a year. From the very start she has moved secretive with her phone. I never thought anything untoward but I had noticed it a number of times so I asked her and she flipped. She said I’d never ever be allowed to look at her phone , we will never be in that type of relationship (I never wanted to look at her phone ever , we don’t even know eachother passcodes now) , she just went mad for what I thought was a genuine question. Anyway fast forward to recent. I know she has some guy friends who she talks to and it doesn’t bother me as I’ve seen their interactions as she has shown me , or I’ve heard them speak. It’s nothing untoward (or I think it isn’t). Anyway the other day we were next to eachother and I see her phone that she’s messaging some guy , and they are best friends on Snapchat (or on the best friends list) I have never heard her speak about this guy or speak to him , and he’s in a situation where she shouldn’t be talking to him but that I can’t go into. Anyway I was shocked that she even knew this person , as we had spoken about mutal friends before and people from the area , and lots of names have popped up but never this one. So I asked her how does she know him ? She said who is that at first , then I asked her again and she said she knows him from the area (they are not from same area) , snd she said she hasn’t seen him in a few years. So I said to her why are you chatting to a man on snap who you haven’t seen in years, but you don’t even have me on snap ? (She keeps deleting me and re adding me and now she hasn’t added me back at all and says she doesn’t want me on there ) Anyway she said they don’t speak they just have eachother on snap , but I then told her I saw they were on each others best friends list. She then said “so you’ve looked through my phone?!” Which I never I told her I just saw it now as we were talking. They are 2 completely different people nothing they could be really talking about. She then said oh we just laugh at each others posts (when I mentioned the best friends thing) Anyway I asked her what was the last thing they spoke about and she said something , and I asked her to show me. She refused. Usually she’d get mad and shout but this time she was very quite talking in a low tone. anyway , I told her I need to see because I don’t get it , I can’t see what you would be talking to this person about , and I’ve never pressed her like this before , I told her this will potentially cause the relationship to end, because as I said before , she has always moved secretive with her phone. Phone on silent , hardly talks to anyone on it , screen always down , usually always has it beside her and I’ve noticed a few times her scrolling of convos when I come next to her. Anyway I’ve told her I wanted to see the chat and she wouldn’t show me. It’s caused a big problem because we r together alot time , we talk regularly , so in my head I’m thing myself it can’t be anything like that , but why would you not show me ? I never ask for re assurance this was the first ever time (because essentially that’s what I was asking for) , and she couldn’t give it to me. I understand privacy 100% if she saw something like that on my phone I wouldn’t want to show her , but I would no problem if I thought it was going to cause a issue with her. I think I love her and it’s driving me mad I feel like I will never be able to be with her now because I’m always gonna think about that time now. She said a lot of things when we argue like she got options or she can get any man she wants , now your conversing with someone I’ve never heard you mention and you are in each others best friends list but you won’t show me ? We’ve all got options lol , I just don’t think that’s something you say to your partner. If I showed her the girls I’ve been ignoring because I don’t wanna be disrespectful to her , she’s probably have a heart attack , and as I said the things she says in arguments then exhibits this behaviour just makes me over think the situation. I don’t know what to do if I’m being real. What do people think ?
TLDR Been with girlfriend one year. Both around 30 years old , speaking to another guy I never heard of before , she wouldn’t show me what they were talking about
[link] [comments]
