Friend and Coworker passed away

I found out a couple hours ago that he passed away last night. I’m new to the place (only a few months) so we weren’t super close yet, but he liked me, made an effort to make me feel included in coworker gatherings, would invite me over to his house to smoke with him and his girlfriend.

I wish I spent more time with him… I knew we were gonna get closer as friends (or I thought I knew) and it was just gonna take time, but I blew off a few invites to hang out because I didn’t feel like driving or was in a more introverted mood.

I feel kind of numb and it doesn’t even feel real, and I almost feel bad that I don’t feel worse but I don’t know how much of this is denial— I can’t wrap my head around the fact that he’s gone.

Homie was a good man, and I’m gonna miss him. This isn’t right. It shouldn’t have happened.

I’m helping the rest of the restaurant organize and pay for flowers and food for the family, and that gives me some sense of purpose but idk… it’s not enough. It can’t be enough.

Anyway, I don’t believe in an afterlife… but if I’m wrong, I really hope you’re kicking it up with some cool people and lots of booze up there buddy. Rest in Peace, my friend.