5 hours ago
1
got myself out of a really deep hole in november. really i just got tired of crying and found a new man to sleep with that's only using me for sex. but i guess it's okay bc that's what i'm using him for too.
early november i planned a trip to LA for myself this week to unwind and prepare myself for a new semester. ofc LA is on fire. a guy friend of mine offers to go to miami with me this weekend and offers to buy the hotel and all i have to do is buy the airplane ticket. then he books a hotel room with only one bed in it without asking me... so i canceled the trip. planned to go to my sisters to snowboard, she cancels the trip on me.
then school is supposed to start but i haven't registered bc i don't have the money to pay the bill and i need to ask my parents to help me out but i don't think they will. i really don't even want to go back to school rn but im 2 semesters away from finishing. so holding myself back more will piss future me off.
tried going on a date with what seemed like a sweet guy but he did a lot of little things i was not into. get on dating apps and after a few swipes it just feels embarrassing and i delete my account.
idk why everything keep going down hill for me. i started praying. i was celibate for 10 months last year, focused on myself. nothing feels like it's going to get better
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