Compatibility or just deal with it?

Hello all. I just want to preface this with my target audience: for those of you currently in long term HAPPY relationships or (god forbid) who where in one but your partner passed which I am so so sorry for.

So I have been reading works from John and Julie gottman a lot lately, particularly their books fight right, 7 principles for making marriage work and eight dates as well as many articles on their site called the gottman institute. (For those of you unaware of who they are, they are said to be some of the worlds top leading experts in the science between long term happy relationships and discovering how to make marriage last a life time. They have been researching for 50 years or so about relationships collectively). I love all the books I read so far and I agree with so much of what they say.

However, I wonder something. They really seem to drive home the idea that compatibility isnt really relevant. They say that 69% of problems are perpetual (which I understand you arent going to find your clone and most people arent even attracted to that) but what I find curious is how they say compatibility interms of personality or values is largely irrelevant. They say that matching people based on this is no better than grabbing 2 random people and hoping a relationship sprouts.

I find that very curious because that seems to go against what many believe and what I seem to have found to be what most people look for? So that is why I turn to all of you. Those of you in these long happy relationships, have you found that to be the case? Was it irrelevant if you guys had shared even core values and you just learned to live with and support each other?

It leaves me wondering maybe they said this explicitly because they are trying to help couples who are already in love or married but cant work out their issues? But it was also implied in eight dates but also fight right that its pretty irrelevant in general. What have you guys found? Just share your experinces I know this isnt scientific in anyway, I just want to know the nuance here.

My thinking is maybe the ideal is to strike some sort of middle ground? Where if you have major compatibility interms of aligning core values, can workout the small nuanced differences and apply the gottman principles I'd imagine you'd have the best shot for that solid relationship? But those are my 2 cents what do you all think?