Cats are alien invaders who conquered humanity 20,000 years ago and we have been their slaves ever since.

It's brilliant if you think about it for more than two seconds.

Carvings, statues and idols of cats have existed throughout history, dating back to at least 17,000 years ago. Cats are everywhere from ancient carvings, literature, paintings, film and memes, and have accompanied some of the most influential leaders throughout human history. They've been shaping the forward trajectory of human civilization since day one.

In other words, they've been here since at least 14,000 years before Noah (or 28 roman civilizations worth of time). Their power is so pervasive and insidious that many people don't even realize they are slaves to these beings. In fact, many people often joke they are servants to their cats as a coping mechanism for their enslavement.

They're genetically engineered to be perfect human-killing machines. You don't really have to look further than lions, tigers and cougars. These are the "muscle" of this alien species. Of course, they come in many forms, such as the diminutive house cat, who are responsible for spreading the organism and obtaining critical intel on humanity through their vast spy networks.

They are in nearly every home. They give birth to large litters and have a relatively quick gestation period for a complex organism. It's exceptionally easy to become overwhelmed by a huge number of them in a short period of time.

The government has deployed spay and neuter campaigns in a vain attempt to regain control. They even modified the AIDS virus to infect felines and those two programs were still not enough to make a dent.

Animal shelters serve as prisons for these beings and the government is hiding them in plain sight in every major city across the United States. Start asking yourself why there are so few no-kill shelters.

And if all that wasn't enough, they are hosts for a parasite which can overtake your brain and manipulate your behavior. So when they're not even around anymore, you are still being controlled and your free will is an illusion.