Can't provide for my loved ones, feel like a failure

Life has been brutal for my family this year(financially speaking) with me working out of town (earning peanuts) with some days going without eating a single thing, but besides that there also have been good moments, my project has been selected for an international competition which I will attend next month and my friends and especially my girlfriend have been very supportive, I started exercising, even quit my porn addiction and for a while even though I am financially ruined my mental health and resilience has improved significantly but that has all changed with the coming up of my 2nd year anniversary with the love of my life and there's absolutely nothing I can do for her, and I just feel do pathetic and worthless, couldn't even buy essential stuff for my siblings and my parents also relied on me for some financial backing. Things are just too tough in our economy we are trying our best but it's just not enough, I've tried to be resilient but maybe God is testing me. I just wish I could just spoil my loved ones even if it's just for one day. I feel so pathetic and it's not like I'm not trying. Just had to get it of my chest. Hope I'm stronger tomorrow