By this time tomorrow, I likely won't be here

I made some other posts about my situation but I am pretty much a 53 yo virgin, and will NEVER live thru another holiday season alone. It is a terrible feeling and the pain of being forever alone. I don't care at this point about solving my problems. I tried lots of self improvement. I reached athletic level performance. I am a millionaire. I am fucking miserable though. I feel like a dog being driven to the vet for his final destination. I never smoked or drank. I was brought up with extreme neuroticism. The only thing I have going for me is perfect health. That is no big deal. It came at a huge expense. I never even went to bar, never learned how to socialize.

I feel dead already, no one gives one fuck about me. Maybe one person because she thinks she will have a payday. I can just give one bit of advice to younger men, get your shit together. Time passes fast and the misery will multiply exponentially.