Awakening

For a long time, I thought this was just life.

Work. Earn. Pay bills. Repeat.

I thought success was something we had to chase—a bigger house, a better car, a perfect routine that kept us in line with everyone else. I thought if I worked hard enough, sacrificed enough, I'd eventually reach a point where I felt fulfilled.

But I never did.

Instead, I found myself trapped in a system that wasn't designed for people like me. A world that felt overwhelming, suffocating—like I was constantly treading water, never getting ahead.

At first, I ignored it. I thought maybe I just wasn’t strong enough, or that this exhaustion was normal. But slowly, the cracks in the illusion started to show.

When the System Started to Break for Me

It wasn’t one moment. It was a slow, creeping realisation—a combination of world events, personal loss, and a deep shift inside me.

I started to see the patterns. I started to feel the trap closing in.

And I started to question everything.

At first, I thought I was the problem. I told myself I needed to try harder. But then the world started changing faster than I could keep up.

The cost of living crisis hit. Suddenly, I was spending more time working than being with my family—just to afford the same life I was already exhausted by.

I experienced loss. It reminded me how short life is, and how little time we actually get to enjoy the things that matter.

The noise of the world grew louder. Crowds, energy, emotions that weren’t mine—I felt it all so deeply that even simple outings turned into a storm of anxiety.

It became impossible to ignore.

I was giving more of myself to survive—more hours, more energy, more sacrifices—but instead of life expanding, it was shrinking. The more I worked, the less I lived.

I had to ask myself—is this really what life is meant to be?

The Feeling of Being Trapped (And The Moment I Knew I Had to Leave)

I used to think freedom meant earning enough money to be secure.

But the more I tried to "secure" my life, the more I felt like a prisoner.

The harder I worked, the further away my family felt.

The busier I became, the more disconnected I was.

The more I earned, the faster it disappeared into bills, debts, and costs I couldn’t escape.

I looked at my children, growing up before my eyes, and realised—I don't want this for them.

I don’t want them to spend their lives trapped in this cycle. I don’t want them to think that success means sacrificing happiness. I don’t want them to look back one day and realise that they, too, never truly lived.

But what was stopping me from leaving?

Fear.

Not fear of failing, but fear of stepping outside the lines. Fear of choosing something different when everyone else was running in the same direction.

Until one night, as I lay awake, exhausted but unable to sleep, it hit me.

I am already losing time. I am already sacrificing my life. I am already exhausted.

So why am I afraid of starting over—when I know staying is killing me?

Nature Is My Freedom (And My Only Escape)

The only place I feel truly myself is in nature.

The quiet, but also the noise—wind through the trees, the rush of running water, birds calling in the distance.

The smell—of damp earth, wet bark, fresh air that doesn't feel thick with stress and exhaustion.

The sunlight, warming my skin, filling me with something I can’t explain.

When I step into the forest, the noise of the world disappears.

I can think. I can breathe. I can exist.

And I know—this is where I belong.

Not in a world that thrives on stress and struggle, but in a world that moves at the pace of nature.

A world where life is simple, slow, and real.

I See the System Now (And I Can’t Go Back)

Now that I see the truth, I can’t unsee it.

I look around, and I see:

*People trapped in a system that keeps them too busy to question it.

*Corporations making record profits while families can barely afford food.

*Cities draining people’s energy until they don’t even recognise themselves anymore.

And it makes me ask—why?

Why are we told that the only way to live is to work ourselves to exhaustion?

Why are we convinced that struggle is normal, and freedom is a luxury? Why are we fed the lie that there is no other way?

Because if people realised they had a choice… they might take it.

They might stop running. They might start questioning. And they might wake up—like I did.

What Freedom Looks Like to Me

For me, freedom isn’t money. It isn’t success. It isn’t some illusion of security created by debt and dependence.

It’s this:

*A small homestead, where I grow my own food.

*Space to breathe, to wake up with the sun and not an alarm clock.

*Time spent with those I love, not stolen away by the need to earn.

*A life where I no longer depend on a broken system—but on my own hands, my own land, and my own mind.

This is the life I am choosing to build.

Because this system isn’t the only way.

And I refuse to live in a world where my worth is defined by how much I can work, earn, and produce.

I choose peace over productivity. I choose freedom over security. I choose a different life.

And this is my journey to getting there.

What About You?

I know I’m not alone in feeling this way. Maybe you’ve felt it too—the exhaustion, the overwhelm, the longing for something more.

So let me ask you:

If you could break free… would you?

And if so, what’s stopping you?