Anyone have a glow up but still felt like the damage was already done?

Growing up I was made to feel ugly, by peers and even family in some cases. The cold part about it is I’d be going to different schools that had no correlation with each other and still had the same comments made about me. Shit fucked me up because for me to go to multiple places with no connection to one another and still be told the same shit I felt like it was foolish not to believe them.

Fast forward summer last year and suddenly I’m getting mad compliments, even being flirted with by this cute coworker. Started hitting the gym slowly after that and watching what I ate (I wasn’t overweight the whole time I mainly started gaining around covid) and now I’m getting almost daily compliments on my body. Hearing words like “cute” and “handsome” directed at me also felt foreign because I’ve grown up hearing nothing but the polar opposite. The concept of a girl I was actively crushing on having one on me felt fictional and yet happened recently.

And yet I still mentally feel like that one ugly kid. I’m happy I’m at a point where I’m hearing a different song and tune now but after so many years of being put down it’s hard for me to mentally accept that things have changed for the better. I still feel undesirable deep down. Feels like the damage has already been done at this point.