Anyone else been feeling the urge to end it lately?

It’s been a rough year so far generally but I feel like this month and last have been especially hard mentally. I feel like whats been keeping me here is the uncertainty of death and what may or may not come after. I feel like if I knew for certain there was a conscious existence after all of this I would’ve left by now, even though it’s pointless because I’m gonna die inevitably anyways.