Anxiety around women has limited my life so much

Anxiety around women has a hold on me!

This is a very humiliating topic and life issue for me that is literally crippling. For starters I'm bipolar so I have this short lived episode side of me that can talk to girls and be myself around them just fine. This is called a "hypomanic episode". With that being said I'm in a low mood 99% of the time. When I'm in a low mood I'm super socially anxious, afraid to engage with really anybody but women specifically, to the point of where I can barley function properly I'm so uncomfortable.

It's soooooo humiliating, when guys figure out about it I'm taunted with names! It's horrible and then they will always mess with me when there is a girl near me they always say "hey he has a crush on you" Everytime this happens I just kinda shut down and the girl just laughs. I've been asked by girls why I'm so "awkward around them" and I never know what to say, I just shamefully admit I'm socially anxious and can't help it. This fear has such a grip on me it's insane, I literally go into a fight or flight mode when interacting with women to the point of where I somewhat come off as slow and timid!

This has kept me from certain jobs, going to college, going to places and all around has kept me in such a small box because I am ashamed of being exposed to a fear that is so irrational it's diabolical. Every time people figure out this is my fear, I get picked on and it is the most emasculating thing EVER! People just laugh about it then always treat me condescendingly. I'm a 25 year old man and still struggling with something lots of men can handle to a degree or who have completely conquered it. I'm ready for ridicule from this post or people just telling me to suck it up, but I'm feeling completely destroyed by this! It's as if my brain is structured to completely fear being judged by men and women about said fear.

I'm sober finally tho I used to do stimulants and drink lots of vodka to deal with this issue.

I'm taking psyche meds consistently for the 1st time in my life.

I'm working out everyday

Eating healthy and always trying to keep my mind stimulated. But this fear has yet to be reduced in anyway. I truly feel helpless in this situation.