Am I asking for the impossible?

Hello ,

I'm a 37F. I was diagnosed with a multitude of uterine and ovarian disorders just a year ago after doing fertility tests with my partner. The diagnosis was a real shock but I still had hope. After many exhaustive consultations, we were told that my only chance to have a child of my own would be to do a risky procedure with a success rate of only 25%. This procedure would also require to come off current medication that helps my body function normally.

Ultimately, my partner got too concerned and said it would be too risky for my health and better to go for egg donation and surrogacy. Although it was a huge hit to my ego, I decided to do the research and even signed up to events with different agencies. However, when I presented the long list of information a week later to my partner, he freaked out and eventually told me it was too much and that he no longer wanted to have a child.

Needless to say that I'm devastated. I chose a career path and worked so hard all my life just to have a family, and now after 12 years of being together, my partner decides to change his mind.

Me going ahead with this plan on my own, means that I will not only need to pay for egg donor, surrogacy and now sperm donor!

I have made a good living for myself, and could have easily afforded to pay my half of the fees if my partner still wanted to go ahead, but it now seems that I would literally need to use all my savings and every penny I make to be able to afford it. Plus handling the baby on my own.

I haven't been able to sleep or eat since my partner broke that news to me. I can't see any reason to wake up every day. My childless friends seem to find comfort in travelling and consuming. I've done all of it, and this seems pretty pointless to me. I have great friends, but apart from "poor you", I haven't received any proper advice and feel completely lost. I know that my situation is quite surreal/unusual but I would really appreciate your objective thoughts. Is my partner right? Shall I give up on my dream?