Almost 29 and definitely lost.

Long story short a friend (F older than me) of 2 years ghosted me for a few months. But before that she said she was too busy with her job to commit to a band. Earlier this year I found out she joined not 1 but 2 bands. And for one band she reached out to me after 4 months of silence. To play with her cause they had a show coming up, because the band split after their first show. So I was her go to guy, according to her. My entire mindset was, I'm gonna fuck up on some these songs. My self-esteem is not that high. 4 rehearsals in with someone getting swapped. Anyway the shows over, I did borderline messed up on 2 songs.

I tried to jam a bit with her. But I think the same old excuse is showing up again. I've been used I guess? I really want to be in a tight great sounding band and make it big you know.. But at this point I'm tired of posting up ads only for people to say they're interested and then go silent. Or we set up a date for 1st rehearsal but we never actually meet.

I'm turning 29 next week monday and feel like the window is closing. I have nothing to fall back on. I give all my time and energy to music instead of books. I'm leaning more towards joining the military(us) if I don't get the gig as a permanent member of her band.

What's your advice? I don't want to take it slow. At basically 29 now, I feel like there's a gap that is closing. And I need to get out before I'm trapped.