Why can’t I find a girl that I actually want?

I’m a 21 year old man from NJ, about 6’0 with shoes and 165 lbs with a lean athletic frame. There are many pictures of me on my page if anyone’s curious. I’ve been trying to find my ideal type of girl for a little while now, and haven’t had much luck. I’ll try to include as much info and be as honest as possible.

My ideal woman is about 4’11-5’5, feminine & genuinely kind, has an athletic figure, nice eyes & tone of voice, white/hispanic and most importantly one who’s witty / intellectually & linguistically adept.

I’ve worked on myself immensely. I’ve grown out my hair, achieved a body that stands out everywhere I go, I can be very social and many of the little things (white teeth, good sense of fashion, etc.) Many people have told me that I look like a model, guys and girls included. My mom’s friends always go crazy whenever she posts me on her WhatsApp stories and almost every day someone slides into my DMs on whichever app (usually gay men or guys who’s wives think i’m “hot.”) I’ve caught coworkers talking about me to my other female coworkers about how attractive they think I am and even caught one of my coworker’s best friends (who is engaged) interacting in a group chat where pictures of me were being sent.

(I know it sounds like I’m boasting I swear I just want to provide as much perspective as possible)

Though a lot of my “appeal” is physical, I also would say I have a LOT of traits outside of that which add to it. I’m a photographer and videographer. I sing and have such a strong relative pitch that I can play almost any song on the piano instantly simply by listening to it. I also play the guitar and love to read and write; whether it’s a research related paper, or a personal experience articulated through a song.

Despite all this, I can’t seem to be able to attract the kind of women I’d actually want to commit to long term.

My interactions with women are for the most part on either side of an extreme spectrum. I try to text or follow women on social media apps, yet they usually don’t respond, leave me on read, or respond with very dry messages that signal that they’re not interested. Yet other times, other women (sometimes more attractive than the ones who ignore me) make it extremely easy for me. They agree to dates, are very talkative through text, and a lot of the times are open to sex or some kind of physical escalation on the first date.

I’ve slept with a decent amount of women and could’ve been in relationships with most of them if I wanted to though either I didn’t feel like they fit my particular requirements for a girlfriend or they fit most of them but I just didn’t find them attractive enough.

Are my standards too high? Am I just not putting myself out there properly? Granted, I don’t really approach women in person that I actually find attractive since I wuss out every time.

I’d also like to say that I do not lead women on. Each girl that I talk about that I’ve mentioned I’ve slept or interacted in any way with was never lied to or tricked into believing that I wanted a relationship with them. Just felt the need to add that disclaimer.