Where did my inner child go ?

Hey guys, this is actually my first ever post here on reddit. Usually like to read other stuff from the sidelines for a while now and never really thought about creating my own thread, so here I am now. I like to think that I’m bit of a deep thinker at times, analysing situations in depth, creating scenarios in my head, observing human behaviour, just something I’ve always caught myself doing out of habit I guess and openly discuss what goes on in my head with my partner, who doesn’t completely understand me most of the time haha which is fine but yea thought I’d share what’s on my mind here on reddit. So my thought today has been about my inner child and where did he go. I used to be a very talkative, energetic and just full of potential as a kid growing up. I come from a good home and went to ordinary schools growing up but if I was to compare myself now to how I was back then, I’d be the total opposite. I compare myself a lot to when I was a kid and just wonder where did that kid go or what ever happened to him. I’m a pretty hard to entertain kinda guy, and people do tend to say the same thing bout me being emotionless and it’s true, I struggle with expressing emotion no matter what it is. When I talk I’m just mono toned so people tend to lose interest quickly with whatever it is I have to say nor do I engage in conversation because of it. It’s kinda sad really and I do miss my old self but I’m just struggling to figure out what happened along the way. I’ve only recently discovered smoking weed with a few of my friends and with that I’ve also discovered that it really brings out my inner child. The very same emotions I used to feel as a child, and energy that I had and openess when I have conversations especially being around my friends it’s just really fun times. Soon as it wears off I’m back to myself again. I look forward to smoking with my friends and so do they, I’m not sure why they do but for me it just reminds me of myself as a child and that freedom I had is just such a cool feeling. I’m just curious if anyone else can relate or would like to inject their thoughts, thank you for tuning in :)