25M. Started college at a top 20 university in the US in 2018 but, after a combination of traumatic hazing, partying, and just not having the right priorities in life- had to drop out. I basically had 4 years (2019-2023) of college with nothing to show for academically, but managed to swing 2 summer internships at a reputable finance firm in NY (turns out its easy to have a coke addiction while working 60 hour weeks).
I've since gone to rehab, gotten clean (approaching 7 months of sobriety), and moved into a sober living house in my hometown. My parents, naturally, are incredibly frustrated with me given how much money of theirs I've wasted (tuition + housing comes out to 90k/year). However, since sobering up, I've managed to get a decent job working at a garden (working with my hands has been so constructive for my idk why) and have been making enough to take care of most of my expenses. My life today is a complete 180 from my life in college and I feel as though I'm learning the discipline and self care required to be a fully functioning adult (like time management, budgeting, cooking/feeding yourself etc)- stuff my peers in college were able to get a hold of quickly while I was out partying.
I am proud of the work I've put into myself to sober up and become independent, no doubt. I've accepted the hole my addiction and privilege dug and have put considerable time and effort into clawing myself out. I've also learned some key things about myself, such as accepting my sexuality as a gay man, learning to love myself- all things that come with therapy and working a 12 step program. But as I stand today- I'm conflicted on where to go from here.
The way I see it there are two paths for me:
1) I go back to college on the East coast, finish up the 2 years I have left, graduate, and get a decent job doing what I've always envisioned for myself (mgmt consulting, finance, or marketing)
Pros: Could possibly catch up to my peers in terms of $, lifestyle, relationship. I could actually consider grad school and a promising career. I've always been incredible ambitious so this plays to that desire of mine inherently.
Cons: $110K loan, need to be extremely careful about my sobriety in that environment again (probably find sober living to live in), puts 2 years of my life (ages 25-27) on hold while I finish school, tbh I'm not sure if consulting firms/top agencies would look down at me when recruiting since it would have ultimately taken 10 years to finish undergrad.
2) I stay in my midwest hometown, forget about finishing up school, and slowly build up my life from here (maybe start a business or work for my dad's construction company) without a degree.
Pros: My sobriety is very protected because of my sober living situation, I don't have any loans or debt, I can actively start my life right now
Cons: I may not make as much money as I would like/expected to, my circle of friends/peers would be vastly different, and I think I'd get bored with how simple and mundane my life has become so early in my 20s
What should I do? What variables should I focus on? I'm all ears
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