When is it my turn to be loved?

I’ve not had an easy life when it comes the people around me. Abused since young, it seems like I only received attention when I had something to give. I often say there was only one woman who never deceived or cheated me. Then I met my wife when I was 18; warm , caring, not to mention a knockout… Raised two kids, now a grandkid… through some tough times. For the last 30 years, my faith and love never wavered. She is my caregiver, due to injuries from my time in the Army, and I rely heavily on her. Things had cooled; and I chalked it up to us approaching 50, no big deal… it’s a new phase of our lives.

Wrong. She’s been very invasive in my phone and iPad… while locking hers. It’s never unattended, even when she’s in the shower. She sits in the car , talking on the phone, her social media friends and contacts are all hidden from me. I know she spoke to an old male classmate about how her breasts are holding up, and not in a ha-ha way. This is the tip of the iceberg.

I now have been used, cheated on, or manipulated by every single woman I’ve ever known except that one angel… which is my grandmother. At this point, I’m not mad… I just want to be on my own. Life has yet again proven to me I am unworthy of love and affection.

Thanks for letting me vent, I wish you well.