What if you are just incapable?

I'm not seen as reliable. I'm kinda not, although it's rare that I cause harm to others.

Most of my life I wasn't included anywhere. Not asked to do anything in the house, not talked to, not allowed to continue conversations. In sports I was explicitly excluded from teams, even in school, because I wasn't a sports type.

I was treated as a weirdo by my parents, friends, enemies, not included even at college.

I don't know how to fix stuff, cook, or pay the bills. Luckily I have a roommate, but it would be better if I had to live completely by myself. Whenever I attempt these things it takes me too long to start and figure out what to do. It takes me 2 hours just to make pancakes. It's so exhausting I regret ever trying. People mock me when they see how I do stuff.

I'm not even good at having fun, nor can I organize myself good enough to live comfortably.

I'm just a programmer. Somewhat good at it. But I want life.

Am I really incapable? People always pushed me to just be better at school and working and criticized me for even wanting anything else. Could it be they actually saw I'm incapable?