Watching Interstellar again made me remember my first love

I saw Interstellar today in Cinema. An experience that cannot be worded. I first watched it while I was in class 8th. And I remember the spark I had within myself back then.

I was so obsessed with Astronomy and astrophysics back then. I loved reading about Universe and Space. I watched TV shows like "How the Universe works" and "Cosmos". I was in love with this. I made a diary where I wrote down these fascinating facts. I joined Facebook groups related to astronomy and it was so fun. I even made my own theories about Black hole, accretion disk, shape of singularity and the event horizon. All this while I was 14-16. I wanted to be a part of this. Be an astronomer or Physicist. I learnt about String theory, multiverse theory, etc.

But somewhere along the line, I lost this passion. Life struck me. Joined the rat race of engineering. Competitive exams, body dysmorphia, face dysmorphia, struggles with my own sexuality, family issues, p*rn addiction, masturb@tion addiction, college, alcohol, weed.

And when I watched the movie today, seeing those scenes again, listening to that music again made me remember my old self. How things could have been. My first love that I had for astronomy could never be accomplished.