Spoiler Does “White Noise” depict a major flaw in 80s progressivism

It is striking in White Noise that no one is ever angry or irritable. They are uneasy a lot but never angry. And this seems to translate into an ever present worry. Goodreads describes it as a modern family. The parents wanted to be friends with the children. When the father was trying to get the dylar away from his daughter who had taken it, he says “I am your friend. I just don’t want to be tricked.” The parents see their children as friends and equals. The idea of punishment is non existent in the novel. In fact the father repeatedly cast Denise as the true weapon against his wife and could not once appear to break her authority.

In the eating scene he says “We decided to eat in the car. The car was sufficient for our needs”. And it ends with, “We could feel it coming, Babette and I. A sulky menace brewed back there. They would attack us using the classic strategy of fighting among themselves.” And he goes on in a defensive mode “But attack us for what reason? For not getting them home faster?” They were scared of their kids being angry at them. Eating is primal. We digest after the meal and who is in control is crucial to who has authority and power. This is what happens when you want to be friends with everyone.

80s liberalism as I remember it had an emphasis on being nice. We were not the brutal people of our historical past. We are not slave owners or racists. But is this inherently selfishness? Was the father in White Noise in how he raised his family the epitome of selfishness? Does this mode of parenting do any justice to the kids? Instead of being angry they choose to be anxious to a pathological degree. And at times even openly share their worry with their children such as the scenes with Denise.