Spirituality or career

Lately, I’ve been reflecting on the different versions of myself, each pulling me in a different direction. One version wants me to focus on spirituality—meditation, yoga, and nurturing my mind and body. This version sees everything else as superficial and materialistic. If I could, I would leave everything behind and dedicate myself fully to this path. However, as a family man, I have responsibilities. I have a stable job that provides financial security and a fixed monthly income without requiring me to work excessive hours. I’m not driven by the rat race, and I feel no pressing desire to climb higher in my career. By this logic, I should be content because I have the time to pursue what I truly want.

But then there’s another version of me—driven by ego. This version believes I’m better than many people who occupy top positions. It whispers that I’m not getting the recognition, title, and power I deserve. To satisfy this version, I would need to throw myself into the race, work harder, play office politics, and step outside my comfort zone to build networks and engage in superficial conversations. I’d have to become a people-pleaser, even if it means going against my own preferences.

If I achieve the title and power, would it make me happy? Or would I just want more and more? I suspect the desire for more would never end.

It feels crucial to commit to one version of myself because without a clear direction, it’s hard to achieve anything meaningful. However, I don’t know how to resolve this internal conflict and choose which version to embrace.