Sometimes I crave the mother and daughter relationship I know I’ll never get.

I really just want a mommy sometimes. A mother that doesn’t judge me when she sees me, or gives me dirty looks In the mirror when I’m in her way. A mom that doesn’t get annoyed every time I ask a simple question or state something cool that happend in my day. A mom whose hug isn’t making me rage in discomfort. My mom Is always unsatisfied and I can never do anything right.

I remember one time I really tried my hardest to make her happy when I was little and I raked the back yard and front all by myself and it took me most of the day if not the whole. I just want/wanted a mommy that loves me.

But I also have sympathy for my mom because she is a single mom with a few kids and picks up paying the bills because who else will? I have pity for her, but I just wish I at least had one stable parent. I have no one to comfortably turn to or look up to when things go South. But I suppose it could be worse.