[Serious] I feel like a anomaly and I am not made for this world

this post is going to get messy, i don't know. currently right now as i am typing this on reddit, i am not in great in spot in life. i am lost and i don't know what to do and feel like the biggest loser existence. when i was a very child i just knew this world is not suited for me and i am out of high school now (i stayed an extra year) and i was right. people around me always ask me what career/major and my answer is "i don't know" because all i wanted to do is have a job that pays ok and allows me to enjoy hobbies; i am very simple person, i don't care about getting rich or my social status. i don't plan on getting into a relationship or have a family, just not for me. i wish i was intelligent or average instead i am cursed neurodivergent that sucks at life. i was supposed to go to community college last month, but i dropped out on the first. i feel like the program was not for me. i am planning on going back to a different program. i have been applying to jobs and every single of them ghosted me; i applied, i walk in, feels so pointless. maybe i am just worthless to society or maybe because i don't have a lot of volunteer and work experience. i see people here have jobs and they call themselves "losers" which is not true, i wish i was in their position. how can you be a loser if you are making money meanwhile i am just a neet which is 99999999999x worse. yesterday i went on social media and saw my peers have accomplished so much and they got out of high school that is still recent (less than 2 years). they have so much volunteer and work experience, HOLY MOLY, i feel like they are all specifically and programmed with knowledge for this world. they know exactly what they are doing. they get jobs with ease especially today's tough job market like HOW. they have a strong sense direction and they see the path vividly and clearly and i am the complete opposite; my path is pitch black i don't where i am going and i don't what i am doing. sometimes they don't what to do in life either, but i feel like they actually do know and they lying to me. Oh god i am failure and waste of human flesh. i wish someone could be born me instead of me. they all go to top schools to pursue these careers deemed as "successful" by society; business, doctor, lawyer, teacher, engineer, finance, data scientist, computer science, etc. i wish i was smart and can do that stuff unfortunately i am not, i didn't choose to be this way and there's nothing i can do about it. my relatives are also smart like why am i like this?! this is why i feel like a anomaly and i don't fit in with people no matter how hard i try. i don't understand why people look on other who work entry jobs like fast foods, retail, garbage man at the end of the it's just a job you get paid and we need those people in society to function. i don't even know why i am posting this on reddit. my mother is not very happy with me with my situation, it's 100% understandable. i am trying to do Youtube videos, it's just not going anywhere right now. i wish i never existed. i despise money so much; it's used to control every aspects of our lives and to oppress people, everything is about money like my goals has to be tied to money.

i am not trying to get any sympathy or anything like that. please don't give advice like "i am young still got time", "it gets better", "seek help", and "you need therapy" it won't change anything and i just want to vent a bit about life.