3 hours ago
5
I feel like this post may be a little stupid, but I’ve always felt the burden of people’s feelings. Even if I didn’t like them I’d be so afraid to hurt their feelings or make them upset. Recently I’ve started to pull back from a toxic friendship and literally feel SO much better.
She always pushed to do what she wanted. “When you come over we’re watching this… We’re doing this… You’re taking a shot with me..” And I don’t even drink. She’d beg me to go out to the bar and be on a phone call all night with her online friends. She invited me out last week and initially I said yes, because I felt bad since it was close to her birthday, but I remembered all the times we hung out and she would barely speak to me and I cancelled.
I usually feel so guilty cancelling on people and always avoid it, but I felt so much relief. Like my mood elevated so much. I realized I’ve always put myself in these situations for other people, but why should I when they don’t do anything like that for me? I’d want to watch a Twilight movie and she’d roll her eyes to put whatever she wanted on. “Girl we’re watching this.”
This probably seems so stupid but I never realized how much this stuff has weighed on me. I’m still working on that friendship and pulling back, but it feels like I’m actually doing something for me. I don’t really have any other friends but I realize I’d rather wait for a real friend to come around than be busy with someone who drains me.
Just something I wanted to share! I feel like it’s stupid and there was no reason for me to be behaving like that but how wonderful is it when you realize you don’t owe someone a friendship when they don’t treat you well? People have always told me ‘oh I have a friend like that, you kinda just deal with them’. But why would you?
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