1 week ago
8
I just had this profound realization that almost every desire in my life that I had once pursued, eventually became actualized and real given time. This may not be everyone's experience and I consider myself very lucky, but let me explain what I mean...
I think there is really something more to actualizing your dreams when you know what you want in this life. I recently am navigating profound heartbreak out of a 4 year relationship that has completely leveled me to ground zero. In the midst of all the pain and suffering I'm inflicting on myself, I realize that I actually WANTED this outcome as well. I knew somewhere within, that I would never be content spending the rest of my life with this person. I secretly hoped something would happen, a divine intervention perhaps, where everything could align so I wouldn't have to face the uncertainty of my feelings. We let the relationship die shortly thereafter and then the nail in the coffin was her falling in love with another man she met in college. But, I wanted this after all???
Now, im living with my mom again temporarily (which sucks) but am just about to start the literal job of my dreams. I desperately sent out at least 1000 applications over the course of 6 months, only to end up getting hired internally within my team, making all my previous efforts irrelevant. (Huge promotion)
I almost feel exactly like Tom Hansen in the movie "500 Days of Summer" if that makes sense lol
It isnt until I give up everything, that greatness comes into my life. The things that I've desired most out of this life so far as a 23 year old man, I have experienced. But, it isnt until Ive either made a sacrifice of some kind, or until ive completely let go or surrendered the idea of attaining it at all. This might seem a little backwards, but it is repeating itself over and over again in my life. This has happened enough times that I'm beginning to believe it wholeheartedly as a facet of my existence, even if its just an unexplained phenomenon that only applies to me. With that being said I hope that once I get over this relationship, the next one will be THE one and she miraculously falls into my life somehow lol
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