Reality or not?

Oxford dictionary defines reality as "the world or the state of things as they actually exist, as opposed to an idealistic or notional idea of them."

I've heard a lot of talk about reality in my life from "personal realities" to "speaking/thinking things into existence" and I've felt the need to defend the true definition of reality at every turn. Now I'm taking to Reddit to get everyone else's take.

Reality to me is what would continue to exist with influence or manipulation. A tree is always a tree, doesn't matter if it's GOING to be anything else, doesn't matter if you think or speak "deck" for the next 10 years, it will still be a tree until an action comes to change it. Reality to me is what would continue to exist if humanity/society weren't here to interfere.

This goes for everything from gender roles to topography. Remove the influence and whatever remains is reality. I'll just use gender roles as my example, works well enough. We have nothing in terms of historical or biological evidence that men and women adhered to today's definition of male or female. No one was wearing makeup and dresses before "societies" so for me that's not real. It's the effect of social interference. Women were wearing the exact same shit as the men if they were wearing anything at all. Our definition of male or female is a societal fabrication. It would not exist in the same way without our influence on the matter.

The same is true of just about anything out here. More than that, no one gets "special personalized realities" that's just not how this works. We all share the same reality, it's our perspective that changes. Our cone of incoming information if you will. Given that we were born into this and never experienced anything else we can't just go back in our heads and observe things as they were before anyone erected a village or planted the first field. Our entire perspective allows for only what has been influenced by our existence. We lack the ability to absorb all information at once which is why we have historians and books and such. The whole of reality is not what you have been able to absorb in the few years you're on this planet.

I believe people's need to manipulate the definition of reality to be a coping mechanism for dealing with something too big and too heavy for them to handle. Also it's a great marketing scheme. Reduce everyone's reality to pushing for the acquisition of funds and objects from those who would seek to use others for their own purposes while wiping from history any mention of a time before that was the case.

What's your thoughts? Is this reality or just the results of human interference?