Only alive for my family.

Ever since I gave birth almost 4 years ago my life has gone down hill.

Chronic pain so I can't work.

Complete incontinence (I wear diapers)

I get maybe 4 hours every 2 weeks without migraine pain.

Energy level drop by 75%

Bedridden.

Foggy brain can't think.

Fever bone pain in my teeth down to my feet.

Ugly. (Bald no hair good looks gone. Can't wear hats because of the severe scalp pain. Saw a dermatologist who also told me it's all in my head. Just water touching my scalp hurts it. Pillows hurt it I can't go 5 minutes without scratching it it's so painful and itchy. Everything takes 10x as long to do because I have to stop and scratch my bald scalp sometimes until it bleeds every 4 god damn minutes)

Fat (can't keep my athletic body if I am in pain bedridden with 0 energy)

Shaking all the time from the pain makes it difficult for me to hold things without first applying grip tape just to brush my teeth or hold a cup of water to drink. Can't drink soups anymore because I shake too much everything spills off the spoon.

The only reason I keep on going each day is for my son and husband and they insist I am not a burden despite being sick all the time. I usually have 1 good day a week where I am well enough to shower and take my son to the park for an hour.

My doctor says it's psychosomatic nothing is wrong.

I waited 7 years for this doctor just to prescribe antidepressants to reduce my daily pain level from a 9 to a 8.

There is no joy or spark in my life. Everything I like or looked forward to (My job, my hair, swimming lengths daily. Can't swim in a public pool if I am pooping myself. And I am too embarrassed to publicly wear a swim diaper. and being very athletic) has been ruined for me.

Now I am just another broken failing parent with no hopes or dreams struggling to get through each hour one day at a time.