2 months ago
25
Going full Dad mode here as I have 3 daughters your age. Your routine sounds like every other unfulfilled Gen Z working shlub in our great capitalist society (i.e. Ive been there, well not the Gen Z part, but you get it). Lots of good advice so far, but to be really happy, you need to engineer your happiness. Creating a happy and fulfilling existence is an engineering exercise plain and simple. You do have the advantage of time though, you are YOUNG and just getting started. Realizing what I am about to tell you this early in life is a gift. I didnt figure this out until I was in my 50's. I spent my 20's, 30's and 40's doing what was "expected" of me, chasing "things", and not doing what makes me truly fulfilled. Im still on that journey (it never ends) but I am wildly improved from my "bottom" there.
You need to start with the 4 F's ( there are a ton of other acronyms) but let me break these down as they are general. Now is a great time (first of year) to sit down and reflect on each of these areas of your life and see what's good/bad and what you want to improve. Then (and this is the important part) write it down, then write down actionable steps to do more of the good things and less (or none) of the bad things (this is what I mean by "engineering" your happiness, that IS the process).
Family (as in, who are the people you are surrounding yourself with)? You cant pick your parents or your siblings, but you can pick your SO and your friends. Are they in the same situation as you? Are they equally unmotivated or are they doers? This one is hard because you might have to make some choices, but getting around people that "do" and "act" the way you aspire to is a great way to help you through the times when you arent sure how to (or if you want to) proceed. Not saying go break up with your SO/friends, but maybe start to look for like minded people (*gasp*, even on social media) and start to spend time with them.
Finances (i.e. your money situation)? You say you are living paycheck to paycheck. Money is just like eating. If you eat (spend) more than you move (make) you will get unhealthy (never get ahead). The key here is to start small and set/start little habits. First goal should be to build an emergency savings. Set aside $25/ week (or whatever amount doenst hurt too much) into a savings account and dont touch it unless you absolutely have to. Second goal would be to track your spending (a program like YNAB is awesome for this). Money craves attention, if you ignore it it'll leave you for someone else! Understand where your money is going and then make little changes to where that is that aligns with your goals. I constantly do this. Once you have these two under your belt, then go hit any of the millions of "FIRE" or Financial Independence groups/books/blogs/videos and do what they tell you to do next.
Fitness (i.e. your body and mental health, please do this one no matter what)? Go get a physical (if you have health insurance, you should still be on your parents if you dont get insurance through work) and make sure you aren't deficient in something (most people are deficient in D or B or both). Then go use the gym membership you are probably paying for (or if not even better, and go get one). There are likely several free ways to get this (some workplaces have gyms some will pay for one). You need to start a strength routine. Not for getting shredded, but for the mental health benefits which are many (sleep, mood, motivation, sense of accomplishment). Did you know that all cause mortality is directly correlated with lean muscle mass. Literally, people with larger quad muscles have a statistically significant higher life expectancy (weird, huh?). Said again, more muscle = longer life. I would not worry about cardio or treadmills, or anything like that yet (unless that is something you like, then go for it) but concentrate on a simple full body strength training routine 2x per week. A program like Stronglifts 5x5 (google it) is excellent. You can start from essentially zero and work your way up in no time. But bottom line is get some regular, intentional, fatigue inducing movement in your life. Also SLEEP. This is the single most impactful thing you can do for your life. Getting adequatre (7-8 hours) of quality sleep every night is crucial!
Faith (i.e. what do you believe in or if nothing, you need to find something to believe in)? This is something I still struggle with, but I can see the benefits. Faith doesnt mean "go to church" unless that is your thing, then by all means go. Faith means what do you believe in? Connection with nature? Meditation and the mind/consciousness? Awe inspiring things? Service to others? Helping your friends/family? Mentoring? Tarot? Astrology? Being a sounding board for your friends? Lots of things can fall into the Faith bucket, but you need to find them and spend time with them. The Faith bucket is the hardest thing to get (imo) but once you get on the track you will know it. I spent years going to "church" because that is what we did. I stopped one day and said, "this is ridiculous, I dont believe any of this stuff" and never looked back. I now value (and crave) time with nature, time outside. I meditate and work on calming my mind. I believe there are many things we dont understand and probably cant understand, but the most awe inspiring thing I can contemplate is the idea that there is a reason this universe exists and we might someday understand why.
This is a lot so start slow with a couple of little things and then stack wins/habits from there. You might have also heard the phrase "you are not the sum of your accomplishments, you are the result of your habits". The "engineering" part of happiness is finding what things bring you value/joy/improvement, making them into a part of your daily/weekly/monthly routine, and eliminate/reduce what doesn't. Then, rinse and repeat until you die (hopefully, wildly happy and fulfilled, financially independent, and in the year 2108) .
Peace
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