My life....

18M here, feeling extremely lonely. I'm in college (not sure if it's good or bad), but I’m extremely introverted, skinny, and only 5'4", so I feel like no one cares about me or takes me seriously. I’ve tried making friends, but people find me boring or lose interest.

I once talked to a girl online, and she used to share everything with me—like “Aaj kya hua pata hai,” and stuff like that. It made me so happy that someone wanted to share their life with me. I didn’t want her to be my girlfriend or anything. I just wanted to be her friend or best friend so I could share everything with her, and she could do the same. But after we met offline, everything changed. Her texts became dry, and she eventually stopped talking to me. I regret meeting her offline because deep down, I knew after seeing me, she would ghost me. I wish I had just stayed online with her.

In college, I do have friends—or I should say classmates who I call friends. I feel happy when I’m with them, but I know I’m not their priority. I just accept it, but then I start overthinking, which is usual for me.

I even tried going to the gym, but no matter what I do, I can’t gain weight, and it feels like all my effort is wasted. On top of that, the fact that height matters so much kills me inside. I don’t get DMs, I haven’t joined any clubs in college, and I just question why God made me like this. It feels like nothing about me stands out in a good way.

Even my photos make me feel worse. I’m not that ugly in real life, but my pictures make me look drunk or like the ugliest person alive, so I can’t even post on Instagram or share stories. My school friends of 10 years don’t take me seriously either.

I’m struggling in college, seeing others excel while I feel stuck. I know I’m creative and capable, but my introversion and all these insecurities are holding me back. Right now, I feel like the loneliest person alive.