My Friend's Suspicious Boyfriend: Should Her Family Be Concerned?

Hey Reddit,

I need some advice about a situation involving my friend and her boyfriend. Here's the context:

My friend met this guy at a community meetup, and they hit it off so well that they fell in love within a week. He even introduced her to his family, saying she’s the girl he’s going to marry. But things are getting weird, and her family is really concerned.

Here’s why:

1. Lack of transparency: When he visited her family to discuss marriage, he dodged questions about his residential info, only sharing the street name of his workplace. When asked for his phone number, he gave his mother’s instead.
2. Quick attachment: He told my friend his father passed away just weeks before meeting her, which feels suspicious. He currently lives with his mother and married brother.
3. Manipulation & control:
   • He’s managed to alienate her from her family (a large, loving group of 17 members) and has convinced her that he’s all she needs in life.
   • When she’s on holiday in Kanyakumari with her family, he keeps her on the phone all day, not letting her connect with friends or family.
   • He threatened her with a breakup, and she ended up seeing a psychiatrist and insisting on couple therapy with him.
4. Financial concerns: He’s asked her to take out a loan to support his business. Her family is worried that he might be after her money since she’s in the medical field.
5. Past behavior: He has had two previous breakups, while this is her first relationship.
6. Spying on our calls: He’s joined our calls via conference without us knowing, even asking her to video call him and show us while pretending he wasn’t there.

My friend used to be outgoing, but now she’s withdrawn and solely focused on him. She agrees with everything he says and doesn’t respond when he badmouths her family.

Her family is against the relationship due to caste differences, but their concerns go beyond that now. They’re scared this could be a huge mistake, and honestly, I’m worried too.

What do you think? Is there something off about this guy, or is this just her family and friends being too skeptical? How can we help her see what’s happening?

Any advice is welcome. Thanks!