Marriage advice

In the process of doing IVF with my husband of one year.

This past month, my family went through a crisis, and I saw a side of him that I’m not sure I can handle. He doesn’t seem to manage stress well, and I really need someone who’s stable. I just turned 38 this month, and I want to have a child. I also want a genuinely happy life.

I used to live in Thailand, where I got sober from alcohol. It’s always been a soothing place for me. I once told my mom that if I never found the right person, I’d move back to Thailand and adopt. Lately, I’ve been feeling that pull again, and it’s strange.

On top of that, I have no sexual desire for my husband. I don’t know what to do. We bought a house last year, we have a 5.5-month-old puppy, and a couple of cats. No kids yet.

Am I just afraid because my life looks good on the outside, and I’m subconsciously trying to sabotage it? Or do I truly want something different?