Lost hope.

I don't even know why my mind thinks in this way naturally and I hate it because it never brought me results I expected for myself as per my intentions which are naturally good. My intentions are high I want to achieve things for myself and it makes me think am I having enough determination as much as my teachers and parents have on me. It makes me doubt myself. Am I even being right in this world? Am I really alone in this world that no one is there to help me out of this and show me the way? People around me are worrying because they think I'm careless. Am I really careless? I'm tired of myself. Im just don't know what else to write because I'm blank. But one thing for sure I'm not careless like they think. It just portrays in that way. I have spent sleepless nights but when I take decisions according to my capability and I'm not following a path everyone thinks I should follow to get results. And I'm not following it because I know that way isn't going to help me. Because I know me. And then everyone slowly starts giving up on me.
What should I do? I don't know. My own path isnot letting me out my 100 % and that's not because of me. Am I being right and am I a human being ? I don't know I really need help from the god that I believed since childhood but at the same time I don't believe. Do they even exist that they turn blind eyes to? Because they haven't helped me at all despite of my good intentions. Are there anything else in this world? Why does everything bad turns true and everything good turns unexist.