lifes bad rn

im 19(m) in my 2nd year of my bba degree and i already have 12 papers i failed in i dont know what to do and extremely scared during the first year i was really stupid and reckless and due to which i have 7 papers i didnt give during second sem i was still trying to understand what to do regarding attendance and exams but i tried abit but still failed 5 subjects during second year first sem i tried abit but im not smart enough and dont feel motivation alot of the times idk why its been hard but i tried and passed 4/7 subjects my family doesnt know abt my recent backs they know about the old ones its hard for them due to our financial issues im scared and worried for myself and them but i dont know why i do not feel motivated except when i fail after that this motivation lasts for a week or 2 then it fades i want a way to have it all the time i dont wanna fail but its so hard being this pitifully bad at studying or being able to focus or anything i really need help badly i gave my first sem exams but i only passed one and failed rest i dont like how i am this has been miserable for me as my family wants to send me to japan for masters but at this rate i wont even get my degree here idk what to do please help