Life after divorce is incredible.

I met a guy when I was around 20, and we dated for a long time. We got married and stayed married for 5 years. Our marriage, however, was a disaster. He admitted that he fell out of love with me. It became a cycle—some days I felt motivated to be a good wife and work on saving our marriage, but whenever I tried, it either didn’t work or only lasted for a short time. I felt like I was the one putting in all the effort, and it was draining. He would pull away when I tried to be affectionate, and it seemed like he was just going through the motions, trying to convince himself that he still loved me. During intimacy, he would avoid eye contact and wouldn’t let me touch him. I loved him deeply, but it was clear that things were no longer working. We didn’t have children because I can’t have them, and while we briefly discussed adoption, it never felt like the right decision. About four years ago, we mutually agreed to separate, and we’ve been officially divorced for over three years now.

Since then, my life has been amazing. I’ve gotten into the best shape of my life, bought a condo I absolutely love, and picked up new hobbies. I play pickleball with my cousin every Saturday, received a huge promotion at work, and have started exploring mindfulness through meditation and yoga. I’ve essentially been tied down since I was 20, so I’m really embracing life now. I’m also in a sexual relationship with a 23-year-old. People might judge me for it, but I’m having a great time. Honestly, I’d trade it all if my ex-husband were still in love with me, but I’m living an incredible life. To anyone out there feeling miserable, trust me—getting out is the right choice. It won’t get better no matter how much you hope it will.

PS - A lot of people have been coming at me about the age gap with the 23-year-old. I understand that people have opinions about relationships with age differences, but I want to make it clear that this is a consensual relationship. I’m not taking advantage of him, and it’s not creepy. If you don’t like it, that’s fine, but please refrain from saying things like you need to be in jail, or calling me a creep, or implying, i see why your husband left you. Those comments are neither accurate nor necessary. I get the age gap thing, but oh well.

Also, just to clarify, I wasn’t 40 dating a 20-year-old. I met my ex-husband when we were both around 20.