Keeping being held ten steps back

I’m 23 years old. I’ve been looking for work since I graduated two years ago but I keep having this sense that I’m being restricted. It sounds bizarre but I can’t put my finger to it, though I know something is preventing me.

I endured two brain hemorrhages in my younger years which resulted in having surgery. Both occurrences drastically changed life entirely. During that time I wasn’t able to grow and become into the person I should’ve - including having serious mental health with depression, self-harming and undergoing talk therapy, but I’ve done all I can to learn and live with it.

I’ve never been lucky in love & relationships either but that’s a different topic - though reiterates my point of being restricted and held back.

My main goal at this current moment and for 2025 is to find work. Although I’ve done almost everything I can to land something, I can’t progress further in doing so. It’s frustrating and it’s like I’m constantly fighting a battle with no weapons.

It’s almost as if every hiccup happens intentionally and I’m being pulled to either side like a game of tug of war. I’m continuously stuck at a set of crossroads with each path hitting a dead end. I’m looping at a roundabout with no exit.

What do I do? How do I break this cycle?