Is it Worth it to End It?

I’m not sure what else to say other than, is it worth it? I’ve been going to therapy for 20 years. I have yet to be in a good place. It seems that my tolerance for living is barely there. I have several chronic health conditions/ones we can’t figure out what is wrong, severe PTSD, harm, and very uncomfortable health issues for my age. The last person I dated was 7yrs ago and I have yet to be able to try again. I wish I could ask people who have passed from suiçide if it was with it… What if they regretted it? What if it was the best decision they made?

I live day by day. Nobody around me gets it and the hurt. I just wonder if it’s worth it to keep trying when I have been for over a decade. My tolerance for hurt, pain, harm, and living has diminished. I don’t want “I’m sorry’s” anymore or the “keep trying.” I have for too long…I don’t even tell people I’m suffering anymore. I know some see it as “selfish,” but I doubt they’d feel selfish if they had the such pain.

Can anyone relate? Any survivors?