Im so frustrated with myself.

I'm a STEM student taking a first-year English course. Never been fond of literature, always hated it until a few months ago, when I started liking it more and more. I'm not sure of the cause; nonetheless, I took the course as a prereq for professional school and out of interest.

Recently, we wrote a poetry essay. If those weren't the most grueling days of my life, I don't know know what were. I had no experience writing essays because I was so reliant on AI to write my essays in high school. That is the one thing I regret most in my academic life. It took the creativity out of my mind, and I hate how I relied on it.

I eventually got my grade back after learning how to write a Goddamn essay and putting my sweat and tears into it. I failed; I got a 60. That may come as no surprise to most, but it still hit me hard. I put in so much effort. I had it peer-reviewed by two friends known to be good writers.

Is writing even for me? I am just so fed up. I know hurdles will come. My TA even said I show potential. Does a 60 really scream "potential"? I honestly don't know if I'm just that poor at writing or if I was marked unfairly.