Idk how to be positive about the future because life has sadistically tricked me into thinking things were getting getter literally over 100x times in 2024

I 23m So I went through extreme trauma in 2024 homeless, chronic illness etc you name it, so many times I thought my situation changed I better now, etc just for things to end the same way due to either my health or plans fall through because of something that was outside of my control and not my fault and no joke this probably happened so many times to the point I was starting to lose my mind and thought I must be under a curse because despite all that I was going through I felt like I was in this cycle I couldn't get out of. And then everytime I got hyped up thinking yeahhh I'm entering into a new chapter! The universe is like: take that! And take that! It's like a sadistic joke. So like I'm in that things are seeming better again feeling but after all I want through in 2024 I trying to be positive and believe maybe the 100th time is the charm but my health issues has taken so much from me and I still dealing with the health issues and I can't help but to fear if there is more bad to come or if I'll actually step into a better season of my life. But I don't know, 2024 was so cruel to me to the point I had to question if were in some kind of prison planet because the level of suffering I was feeling was cruel and never felt so hopeless in a year like 2024. I struggling to know if I'm the problem for having a negative outlook or if 2024 just traumatized me so bad that I don't wanna get my hopes up? Idk. How do you know when things are actually about to change? Do you just wait till the change actually happens? I'm tired of the just have "faith" that left me feeling humiliated.