I wasted my youth

2 months ago 70

I’m about to turn 20 this march and I haven’t done anything. My whole teenage years were wasted with me being an introverted cyper freak I had difficulty doing things and going out due to being controlled by my mom. for as long as i can remember I couldn’t get or do anything without her word, she make me feel owned, always guilt trapping with how she raised me and paid for everything so i have to do everything, wouldn’t let me get a job nor indulge in sport. By the time i was 17 I finally did something for myself, got into karate and got a black belt in one year. All without her knowing (she was in another country) and as you can guess by now i was forbidden from it the moment she knew. But now im 19 and, what have i done? I see people my age already moved out and have jobs and cars and im still not allowed to go out without having to send my location every 30 minutes. I feel lost, maybe it’s because of me or her but now I don’t know if I’ll ever be truly free in life and do what i want. Im scared of the unknown.

Ps. Sorry for bad English its my second language.

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