I purpose to my Best Friend

In back June i purpose to my best friend and got rejected badly she told me find someone who loves you and I want you to have feelings for me and I don't want your feelings too grow more for me because I can't able see you as romantic partner, i don't think how much it can grow wrong anymore but she say i understand if you don't want to friends with me anymore due to your feelings how should I tell her I am in at stage where not only love her anymore it's more like i worship her like God/Godess but I still believe I will over her because I already know for long even before expressing my feelings to her that she didn't feel same about me, but still I found my self to stare her pics on insta and secretly hoping that she would text me upfront and everytime I see notification with her name my heart start to beat too fast I start to get anxious, i don't how to get over her and if you say go find someone then find good Girl for me because i absolutely not able find anyone and my social skills are Zero