I'm struggling with friendships

Lately I've had trouble sleeping related to what othe people think of me. It's doesn't help I struggle to maintain friendships. I'm one of those people that a fair fee people know me. But I'm not really close with anyone. Growing up I've always had one close friend but there's some massive distance between us lately because we'vedeveloped very different views. So I've started watching alot more tiktok like over the Christmas break I've checked and it averages out to like 5 hours a day and all the other time is spent watching tvs shows to pass the time. I guess what I'm getting at is I'm really tired of not having a number one person to rely on