I’m never going to stop trying

27 now.

I’ve experienced a lot of rejection in life. A lot of dismissals from those who say they love me. I’ve disappointed people and people have disappointed me. I’ve lost a lot of people on my journey. They all became memories.

I’ve lost a lot of money that I worked hard to make and save. I’ve started from scratch several times.

I’ve got a ridiculous amount of debt. A degree and a masters in philosophy which for the most part has been useless in the job market.

My musical passion has been my main focus for most of my early adolescence and adulthood. I am glad that I have wrote and recorded what I could.

I am currently working in a full time position in food and beverage. An entry position. I work alongside teenagers, as a post graduate. Doing the same work and earning the same wages. But I am grateful. It’s been so hard to find a job and to get my foot in the door somewhere. I have no complaints about my job. I just thought I’d be in a better position given my educational background.

I have a son now as well. It’s not easy working full time and being at home with him and my girl. It’s hard to find a balance.

I don’t have time to go gym, get sufficient sleep, go to work and be a father. But I am committed to doing the best I can. I make the necessary sacrifices.

I’ve got no savings left, just a crypto portfolio which has gone to what might as well be zero. There’s a small chance of a reversal but honestly I am completely over it. It’s laughable how I saved so much for my future yet lost it all before my son was even born. It’s like I have nothing to show for all the work I put in during my early 20s.

I am proud of my degree and masters whether or not on the outside it seems useful or not, to me the knowledge I gained is priceless. It will last me a lifetime.

I often pit my happiness against my financial situation and find myself in despair. I think we all do. My financial regrets have taken a toll on me. I’d be so much better off had I not invested so heavily. It’s a lot sometimes to think about and deal with knowing that I was on track to being financially stable. I was, for a while, financially free. But now I am starting from scratch with a household outgoing of roughly £3000 a month. Me and my girl manage. But we are far from financially free. That’s the goal at the end of the day right?