I'm done

My life's over I tried so fucking hard to do right by people and I did, but money talks I guess. My mom's still acting like she's always been there for me when my family is the reason every interaction I've had with people has been artificial. I have not had one friend or interaction with anyone in my whole life where their goal was to make a future with or by me, and that's all I've ever wanted. Managers lying about my work history. Girls I'm matching with on dating apps giving me numbers, and then finding out the number is under a completely different name. And now I'm wondering if one of my old friends I knew for about a year is lying saying we dated when the most intimate we ever got was a hug twice in the whole year I knew her. I've never really said this to anyone or anywhere but when I was 16 I got blackout drunk and my mom somehow found me at the park and brought me home and then the next day she asked if i remembered anything to which I didn't and she just said "well you're a happy drunk" and in hindsight with everything else going on that sentence really scares me. And so much other shit and I just sat around thinking everyone was actually there for me. I've had a few girls tell me the reason they don't want to date me is cause they don't see a future with me, which has bummed me out but now I think I'm starting to really understand what they mean and I'm just exhausted because I really thought I had a life to live and it got robbed from me before it even started.